It's hard to think that you're not around anymore. Everything is just so raw and I can't imagine what everyone else is feeling back in Texas. When I got the news of your passing, I was in utter shock, thinking that maybe it was a joke. But I know Steph would never joke about things like these. Even now, after I've had a few hours to take it all in, after crying myself to sleep, the world just doesn't feel right anymore.
It was just like 2 days ago that I talked to you on the phone, and just yesterday that you commented on my status on Facebook. And for some reason I saw you online after I heard the news... maybe someone was using your account. But looking at you FB profile, i just can't believe that your gone. If I had known that was going to be the last time I talked to you, I definitely would have tried to say more. But as I think back, what more could I have said? I always said I love you, and I always said that I missed you. Even though I wasn't much of a talker, I loved to just listen to you talk about anything and everything. And I really thanks God that at least I got to talk to you before it was too late.
Mammy's Last Comment
Mammy online?
I guess the only thing I regret not say was thank you for everything. Thank you for believing in me, even though you didn't know me that well. Thank you for accepting this stranger into your family. Thank you for always letting me spend the night. Thank you for everything that you have given me. Thank you for loving me as a granddaughter that was never really yours.
I will always remember the times I spent at your place with Steph and the girls; the times out on the your pouch talking to you (more like listening to you talk); the times I'd ride in your car with you; the times just laughing at whatever crazy things you'd be doing; the time I first met you;the time with the dogs; the time before Prom; the time during my going-away party; the time visiting you in the hospital; the time during easter.... There was never a dull moment with you around.
I was so looking forward to seeing you when I go back to Texas and spending Christmas with you. And it breaks my heart to know that you're not going to be there anymore. Now you can't even see me suceed later on in my career, and I can't even let you try my baking. You won't be able to see me get married, or let me repay you for everything you've done for me. Nothing will be the same without you.
And to think that I'll be going on the Langkawi Island vacation that I was telling you about, in just a few hours. I can't imagine I could really enjoy it now. I'm so sorry I can't be there to pay my last respects, but I just want you to know that you were the best grandmother an exchange student could ever have, and the last grandmother I had. I love you and miss you always, and you will forever be in my heart. For the Lord will look after those who loved him and good people like you. I am going to go and this vacation and try to have fun! Because I know that's what you would have wanted. "Here I am, wheeling around watering the plants; now I'm entangled in the hose and watering the pouch! Oh! Now I'm watering myself!" - Mammy, while talking on the phone with me.
Judy Newquist McBurney May 9, 1947 - May 5, 2009 "Because you loved me"
If I was there at your memorial service, this is what I would sing :
There's a land that is fairer than day, And by faith we can see it afar; For the Father waits over the way To prepare us a dwelling place there. In the sweet By and by We shall meet on that beautiful shore; In the sweet By and by We shall meet on that beautiful shore.
